Audience with the Queen

At first we thought our good friends John and Leslie at church were simply John and Leslie, who live in a very nice BIG house. A couple of weeks ago, we found out that he is John, Duke of Oldham. He is also third cousin of the Duke of Edinburgh, also known as Prince Philip, husband of Queen Elizabeth.

We were having dinner with them at their estate, Little Rose, to celebrate our 25th anniversary. After dinner John told us he had a special surprise for us as a gift for our anniversary. He explained that as Duke of Oldham and as Prince Philip’s cousin, he is entitled to “take audience” with the Queen once each year and that he can take one couple as a guest. He said that the Queen especially likes to meet Americans, so he invited us to take tea with the Queen and Prince Philip. Of course we declined initially—that is the proper British thing to do--hoping he would insist, which he did.

There we were—Mike and Julie from Red Bank, Tennessee—going to see Queen Elizabeth II of England.

The big day finally came this past Sunday, March 28. What an exciting day it was!

The Queen and Duke were staying at Lingow Castle for the weekend, so we left early Sunday morning for our trip to Rowland, which is about 50 miles southwest of London.

We arrived about 2 pm and were shown immediately into the Prewett room, which is kinda like the royal waiting room. There were others waiting. We were soon joined by a man a little older than Mike, who had obviously travelled all over the US. He told us that he played the guitar, and we told him that our son Ben loves to play. This man lives in Willett, which is not far from where we live. He said to have Ben call him when he is in town and maybe he could show him a few things. We had no idea who this guy was—he was very friendly, though--until he was called out of the room and he left us his card. Believe it or not, it was Eric Clapton!

We were then called into an inner room where we were met by a chap called Wesley, dressed sharply in a bright red blazer. Wesley gave us the rules, including:
· As a commoner, do not make eye contact with the queen
· Speak to her only when she first speaks to you
· Bow from the waist when you first enter the royal presence (Mike mumbled under his breath, “We are Americans. We don’t bow to anyone”)
· When departing, walk backward. Never show your back to the Queen.

The next thing we knew it, Wesley said, “Very well, it is time.” We both felt like we couldn’t breathe. We walked into the next room and there she was. We both later agreed that we had the same sensation: She looks just like a normal great-grandmother, not intimidating at all.

The Queen excused Wesley, leaving only The Queen and Prince Philip, John and Leslie and us. The first thing the Queen said was, “The first order of business is to forget everything Wesley just told you. Let’s be friends.” She opened her arms and gave Julie an old lady hug. She warmly shook Mike’s hand and said, “Welcome American friends.” Philip hung in the background and was more distant.

We moved over to a sunroom overlooking the Robbins Garden. The Queen was eager to hear about where we are from in the US. She was delighted to hear we are Southerners. When Julie said she was from Alabama, Prince Philip woke up. He said, “Remember that American rugby coach we met 30 years ago? Wasn’t he from Alabama? Quite a charming chap. I remember 2 things about him: 1) He tried to explain that barbarous game, which I have never understood, and 2) He cleaned his nose right in the royal Presence.”

Discovering that I am from Tennessee, Philip said that he had always favored Jack Daniel’s. The Queen remembered being in Knoxville with Ronald Reagan for the 1982 World’s Fair. “I quite fancied the river there, as I recall. I’ve never seen so much orange clothing, though.”

We talked for about an hour. Here are some tidbits from the Queen:
· On Winston Churchill: “Rudest man I ever met, but an absolute joy.”
· Bill Clinton: “I never met a more charming man, but he fancied every woman from my social hostess to the chambermaid.”
· Obama: “He gave me an iPod, you know.”
· Charles deGaulle: “A Frenchman.” [Nothing else]
· On American movies: “We fancy the older films, John Wayne or James Stewart in anything.”
· CS Lewis: “Most fascinating man I’ve ever met. I could talk with him for hours.”
· The European Union: “Why does the United Kingdom need to be tied to all these other countries? We have been just dandy for 11 centuries by ourselves.”

Finally Wesley returned, looking at us with fire in his eyes, “Your Grace, there are others.” The Queen replied, “Very well. But you must come back.” We have another appointment next year, on April 1, 2011. That will be a good time for another good April Fools’ Day gag, just like this one.

Yes, April Fools!! None of this is true. Hope you enjoyed our little fun at your expense.

Blessings!

Mike, Julie, Sam, Ben and Caleb
1 April 2010